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Setting Goals for Change: What Do You Want?

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new moon settingWhat do you want?

That is the question of the new year. I have seen numerous references to a “New Moon” on New Year’s Day and the rarity of that occurrence. Some say it portends an amazing chance for new beginnings. Whether you believe in that sort of thing or not, the new year is about creating new things and so we must ask ourselves the question, “What is important to me?”

We can’t tackle everything, so knowing what you want in life, knowing what you really value, becomes crucial and what will guide how you focus your limited time and energy in the new year.

Do you want a partner? Do you want more friends? How about a better relationship with you parents? What really do you want? Knowing what you want is the basis for all successful change. Plus, you don’t readily enter into a change process, nor have the discipline to stick with it, if you don’t have a clear sense of what really matters to you to keep you motivated.

You might find it surprising how many of my clients say to me, “I just don’t know what I want.” They may know that some aspect of their current relationship is not working, but they can’t clearly say how they need or want it to be. Knowing what you don’t want can be an important precursor to change, but I would strongly advocate for everyone doing some work in the area of what they do want, before trying to make any changes in their life, and certainly before working on changing one’s Chemistry Tattoo.

In my upcoming Chemistry Tattoo Workbook, I have included numerous exercises to help you figure out what you want. In the meantime, I would suggest you commit some time to thinking about this topic and writing a list of what you want. The new year is the perfect time to focus on what your future will hold.

See if you can come up with seven items for the new year. They can be large or small, simple or profound. They will take some reflection and some work on your part, but as I tell my clients, “Have fun with these.” Really let yourself dream about what you want, let yourself imagine. See what feels good. Like trying on clothes, don’t settle for a six, find a ten. Do the same with what you want in your life. Change is hard work and it isn’t worth entering into unless you have a fair amount of clarity about what you want.


Photo: Avital Pinnick | Creative Commons

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